Mourning

“When you hear the word mourning what comes to mind?”  Maybe you get a picture of a widow standing at her husband’s grave, maybe you see an old man sitting at a table alone in the house his late wife decorated, or maybe you see a couple standing at the door of a new nursery that is devoid of a child.  These are the same pictures that use to come to my mind when I heard the word mourning.  After meeting Juliet, my idea of how I viewed mourning someone’s death has completely changed. I use to think that mourning was the grief you experienced from the time the person died till you buried them.  I use to think that it was just an emotion and not an action that affect a lifestyle.   After watching my dear friend Juliet mourn the death of her husband I can see that it is more than just an emotion it is a lifestyle.

Juliet lost her husband to AIDS four months ago, leaving her a widow with five children and a grandchild.  For the first three months she had to stay in her house and did not come out because there were complications in the burial process.  After he was buried she was unable to leave her homestead for another two months to continue the grieving process.  Even still, she will wear black everyday and continue to mourn for another three years.  This is part of the Swazi culture here and what “mourning” looks like in their lives.

The idea of mourning or grieving the death of someone as being a lifestyle never enters the mind of a normal American/Westerner.  It is not that grieving the death of someone you love for three years is morbid, it is actually honoring their life and remembering who they are to you.  By Juliet wearing black for the next three years she is making a statement that she has lost someone who is dear to her and her heart is broken because of what that person meant to her.

Unlike losing someone here on earth and grieving their death because we won’t have them in this life anymore, we have a God who physically is not present but the word says His spirit dwells within us. We don’t have to live as though we lost Him forever. So often times we as Christians focus on the death of Jesus and how awful it was rather than focusing on what He means to us and how He has affected our lives.  I wonder when non- believers look at the way we are living- if they see us wearing black as if He has not risen.  We don’t have to mourn His death or live as if He is not around anymore.  We believers we should celebrate His life- “the resurrected life” that dwells within us.