Marissa Vignola - Adventures In Missions -

Thankful...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

What am I thankful for this year? The best way to communicate my heart is to share an illustration through the actions of a child.

A couple of years ago I walked through the gates of Emmanuel Orphanage in New Delhi, India. I met the most beautiful children who greeted me with warm smiles and hugs. The children had nothing, they slept 5 to a bed, many with lice and scabies, all they owned was shared in one drawer with another child. They shared similar stories of abandonment , rejection, and being orphaned at a young age. One thing these children had was a love for God that tangible in everything they did and said. They would worship and pray for hours and believed God was who He said He was.

One day I was walking barefoot with three of the girls when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked down to see, Rina, 5 years old, take off the only pair of shoes she owned, which happened to be pink flip flops that were brown from the dirt. She put them on my feet one by one, they were two sizes too small, but I didn't care...she then took me over to the water hole, which had no water that day. There was a bucket that had water saved from the night before that she poured out on my feet and began to wash them. I was overwhelmed. I saw Jesus in that little girl, she taught me something that day that has never left me.

She the only pair of shoes to me, she didn't care about the sacrifice she wanted to honor me and bless me because she understood the value of our relationship. It was love behind the giving and the love she felt from me that compelled her to such a sacrificial act.

This past year I have thought of the "shoes" in my life that represented idolatry. I thought how I would sell everything for those shoes and I even said to God, "anything but these." I thought those shoes defined me, gave me security and comfort and I called them love. Then those shoes failed me and I realized they were keeping me from the blessings and the true love of my creator. It was as if one day God tapped on my shoulder and said I have this for you: my son who died for you. When I understood that love and the value of Jesus' love for me I let Him take my shoes- those worthless idols in my life.

Since then it is as if everyday I get to open up a new present from God; a treasure, my inheritance from Him. It comes in the form of joy, love, peace, reconciliation, healing, the list goes on and on. I don't miss those shoes and I am willing to give anything that He asks of me because He is enough...more than enough.

Seek His face.

Fri, 4 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Many times we hear that we are to seek the Lord's face. It is a common theme prayed, preached, and conversed among believers. The other night when i was praying the Lord spoke to my spirit and said " many of my children are seeking my hand and not my face." It hit me like a ton of bricks- and I recalled times in my life that i put conditions on my love for the Lord. I have made selfish requests in my prayers accusing God for not pulling through for me in things i thought I was entitled to or needed to be happy. The times i suffered i could not seek His face, because i was too caught up inseeking relif or comfort from His hand and not asking Him what He was trying to teach me and reveal to me during that time.

Here is a simple truth that we all need to hear, "Jesus and the cross, is that not enough?" He gave us His Son, what more could we ask for! Everything we need for life is found in Him. The cross in itself is worth our entire life and worth whatever we go through because we know that there is one who loves us and gave Himself for us. We know that this light and momentary troubles aren't to be compared to the glory that waits us. Why do we spend so much time wanting the Lord to do things that honestly may be just temporary 'feel goods" and we miss out on really knowing Him and seeking His face.

The word promises that when we seek Him we will find Him. There is so much intimacy in seeking His face and being able to love Him no matter what, because we know Him. We know His
character, we know His heart towards us, we know He works all things for the good of those who love Him.

If the Lord was interested in just giving us what we wanted then He would not be a loving Father. Why? because He sees the big picture and He knows what will bring HIm the most
glory and be used for our good and the benefit of others. He also knows that faith requires looking beyond His hand and trusting Him as we seek His face.

There are times I chose to look away when i felt God didn't come through for me or do what I needed Him to do. There are times i accused Him- for what? For being God... what makes me think
i know what is best for my heart and for the kingdom. I missed the part that says if you want to find life you need to lose yours, or I count all things rubbish compared to knowing Him. My heart aches
to say that all I care about is getting Jesus- His face is all I seek. The other things in His hand are good and a blessing, but if my focus is on that then I will miss out on what it means
to truley be a disciple of Christ and knowing Christ my Lord.

He is a jealous God and will remove things in our lives if we put the thigns He gives us out of His hand before Him. Those things will never satisfy or meet the deepest longings
of our hearts. In those times we can choose to walk away or choose to know that because He loves us He desires all of us and we get the greatest gift of all. His love never runs dry. The treasure is in God alone; everything else is an overflow of His love, but God Himself is LOVE.

Things in His hand are good, but they're not God; don't be mistaken. Forgive us Lord for seeking your hand and not you. For loving you and worshipping you for what you can do for us and not for who you are. May we never look oustide of you to find what our souls yearn for.

Return to your first love! Seek His face, not His hand beloved.

A reflection...

Tue, 1 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Tree planted by streams of water...

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

⁵ This is what the LORD says:
       "Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
       who depends on flesh for his strength
       and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

⁶ He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
       he will not see prosperity when it comes.
       He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
       in a salt land where no one lives.

⁷ "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

⁸ He will be like a tree planted by the water
       that sends out its roots by the stream.
       It does not fear when heat comes;
       its leaves are always green.
       It has no worries in a year of drought
       and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:5-8

This passage has spoken volumes to me as I have done some meditating and reflecting on my life and choices I have made along the way. It is clear that one tree leads to life and the other to death; according to where the roots of the tree are finding their nourishment.

Many times we come to the Lord begging Him to heal this, fix this, change this... but we refuse to put our trust in Him and we turn to own strength or put our trust in others to give us life. The enemy is always trying to make us belive that something will give us "life" that is outside of Christ alone; when we give into that lie we wind up empty, wounded, and exhausted. That is the place I am coming out of the past season.

Verse 5 clearly states "cursed is the man who puts his trust in man." It is easy to have a tendency to look to other people or things to sustain you. The problem is that that person or thing becomes a little "god" that leaves you empty and barren. Verse 6 says he will be like a bush in the wastelands and will not see prosperity when it comes. Putting our trust in anything other than God will leave us fruitless and we can not grow. We have no root that will allow us to grow or nothing to go back to when we try to be nourished by temporay things. We will not see prosperity when it comes because we can't see what God does, the good things, because we let other things take the place of God and our concern is more about tending to that idol and not willing to surrender and let our entire heart, life, and being, be rooted in Christ alone.

If there is one thing I know about the Lord- it is this: HE IS A JEALOUS GOD!! He is jealous for us; as it says in 2 Cor 11:2 "I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to Him." Looking to anything in the world to meet your needs is adultery and forsaking the true SUSTAINER and LIFE GIVER.

God has removed those things in my life and I have come to a place where I am allowing my roots to be established and rooted in Christ. I am not worried what life brings me or the seasons because I am firmly planted in Christ that does not change. I have the ability to bear fruit regardless of the season because Christ is the Living Water that gives life.

The more I run to God and let Him be the King over my heart the more I can stand in what HE is, trust in who HE is and what HE is going to do. I come to Him with open hands saying I trust you because I know you- you are my everything; my sustanier, my all sufficient God, the supplier of all my needs, my lover, my friend, my comforter.

God will allow those things we put our trust in to dissapoint us so we can turn to Him- the one true and LIVING GOD that does not disappoint.

How do we allow this to happen? He has to become the lover of our hearts; once we believe who He is and what He has done for us and the relationship He desires to have with us... we will forsake all things and cling to Him. We will drink from Him and His well of love where we will never thirst again and will experience the life He died for us to have.

His burden is Light...

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Are you carrying anything that is heavy- if so, maybe it isn't your burden to bear... I realized this week that the times my yoke is not easy and it feels I am carrying a heavy burden than in that area I am choosing not to trust God.

Have you ever seen a young boy help his father carry wood? The Father carries the big heavy pieces while the young boy may carry one stick or two. The boy is so proud to help HIs father and doesn't realize his load is so much lighter. As I was praying this week I felt God saying, "Marissa I am doing the work- you just get to come along side of me and join me in what I am doing... my part is just to trust and to cast my burdens unto Him as I daily surrender things in His hand. I mean, let's face it- my God can move mountains, He can fit the entire world in the palm of His hand- He conquered death- He never changes- I'm thinking He really doesn't need my help or me to feel I am some small god by thinking I can do something in my power or take matters into my own hands as if I am capable to change anything around me or have peace outside of Him.

I am in a new place where it is easy for me to be overwhelmed and feel the heaviness of the needs around me. He keeps me in perfect peace when I allow Him to have total control of area of my life, ministry, friends, trails, etc. I can't be an "indian giver" or one who tries to surrender half-way because any area I haven't given to Him leaves me feeling the weight of something I was never meant to carry or need to. There is a part we do and a part that Jesus promises to do in return. We must be willing to go to Him and give Him the heavy load we are carrying and He promises in return to give us rest. We have the easy part and He has to carry the heavy load- why would we hesitate or not desire that exchange. Do we really trust Him in every area of our lives and believe He can handle our loads? You're talking about a God who became a man and carried the weight of every man's sin on His shoulders- not to mention the cross He bore- my load is nothing compared to that... I think I could trust Him with um... EVERYTHING....

I think sometimes the Lord is waiting for us to say "i can't" or "this is too much to bear"- He knows we can't but HE can. He also knows anything we are carrying that is heavy wasn't ours to carry to begin with. Examine yourself and see if your load is heavy- if so- it isn't yours to carry and He is waiting to take it from you. Trust in the Lord... God doesn't need our help and He says that faith can move a mountain- what is your faith in? Put your faith in the Lord and let go and let Him handle your load.

Accept this invitation that God is giving you- come to Him all who are weary and He will give you rest.

Doll House...

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Driving down the road in Montana with my friend there we saw her... a cute hunched-back lady raking leaves outside. Without saying a word my friend slammed on the breaks and said "Marissa get out and I'll come get you later." She knows me too well and my love for the "wiser people of this world ". It was love at first sight and she was too cute to just pass on by...

As I approached her frail body I introduced myself and asked her what she was doing raking leaves all by herself and I couldn't let her do that. She said honey I am 90 years old and all alone but I still have enough strength to rake these leaves. So- just in those few short utterances she had my heart and I wanted to hear her story. I asked her what her secret was to being in such good health and shape for her age... she replied "walking and Jesus." I wanted to ask her to be my Grandma, but instead I settled for a hug. I just smiled b/c since I've been back from Africa I miss the Go-Go's (grandmother) so much, but God knows my heart and wanted to give me a little kiss in the form of this precious elderly bundle of cuteness.

She invited me into her house and nothing could have prepared me for the collection, dare I say obsession inside. When I walked into her living room there were over 4000 sets of eyes staring at me. Oh-now that I've got your attention I should explain... she has been collecting dolls since she was five years old. After 85 years of collecting dolls one might say she is quiet the connoisseur of dolls. Her 12 X 14 foot living room was covered from floor to ceiling with dolls. Where her couch use to sit now sat dolls from different eras over the decades. It wasn't for a lack of feeling that these dolls were dearly loved that I felt a little sorrow in my heart as she began to un-fold the story of her life.

She received her first doll at the age of 5 when her mother passed away and she was taken in by her Elementary school teacher who gave her a doll. As a child in crisis she clung to her doll and received comfort and joy in the doll. One day while playing she left the doll outside and when she went back for it -it was gone. She spent next 85 years searching for the feeling of comfort that doll evoked within her. She kept most of them in storage her entire life until her husband passed away 20 years ago and then she put them out and began collecting again. Again... that void in her life has been filled with "false security" she desperately grasp at the only thing she knows of comfort. I guess there is no fear in loving a doll because they can't love her back and she doesn't have to worry about them dying. Standing in the middle of her living room fully aware of our need for God and His comfort my heart ached as I realized these dolls were not collectables but gauze for her heart.

We prayed together and I shared about the one who sees each tear she has cried and came to bind up her broken-heart. I reminded her that He has never left her or forsaken her- a God who is living and offers love and comfort beyond anything this world could give.

There is no one on this earth who doesn't know suffering. We spend our lives and our time filling and borrowing what this world has to offer. So often we choose not to deal in God's economy but in our own. The economy of God's love has no bounds, there is no wound it can not heal, there is no need it can not meet. What are you borrowing from this world to fill your hurt or pain? What are you doing to make sense of your past? Are you willing to let God have access to your pain?

Everything the world has to offer to ease to our pain is a temporary imitation like stuffing gauze into a fatal wound. We try in our own strength to ease the pain... maybe ignoring it, running from it, or replacing it with something that looks and feels good but isn't God.

Jesus is what our hearts are begging for, He is the creator of our hearts and therefore we can be brave by bringing our pain to Him and having hope that He will heal our wounds. I wonder what we've collected in our own hearts over the years and I wonder if we're aware that Jesus is still waiting to replace the gauze with His healing balm.

Insight into my heart.

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I spent most my life living in that prison cell depending on the season: rejection, un-worthiness, pain, self-hate, abandonment. For the first time I felt like you unlocked those doors and pulled me out violently in your embrace. You said- Marissa b/c I love you we need to go there- I will be gentle and will restore to you what has been stolen. It was as if I could breathe again - as if I felt like I had new life- one w/out ball and chains... one w/out fear... loneliness... false idols...

I was scared to go there but I did b/c where else could I go. I was tired of trying to be your child and tell others about you when inside I was dying- I was slowly become my worst enemy and I was clinging to anything that looked like love or security- but in the end that left me the emptiest of all. I tried religion and that created a performance based love which only brought deeper condemnation and shame. I tried relationships that failed me and couldn't meet any expectation that only you could satisfy. You had to adjust things in my life by your love and because of your love. You didn't want anything to share that place where only you should dwell and meet the longings of my heart. Although letting go of things was hard in the end I could never return to broken cisterns that can not satisfy. I realized that your love has been constant my whole life it was just I had things in the way of receiving that love.

It seems we are dancing again and your love is overwhelming yet inviting- so intense- so wonderful. It is as if nothing else mattered b/c all those other things couldn't survive in that love and you were jealous to have me to yourself. I felt alive and was glowing from allowing you to have all of me. No- it wasn't easy but it was worth the wrestling, the tears, the fear of being in a new un-familiar place- yet is was as if that is where I belonged and should of lived all along. The enemy has always hated the place where there is intimacy with you b/c there he can not compete with as darkness can not fellowship with light.

All I know is you walked with me through it all and you were never overwhelmed by my heart or pain and refused to leave me bound by my sin and selfish desires.

You have written my life before time and have ordered every one of my steps. Your love has never once changed, moved, or failed me- you love me 100% of the time all the time. It is in that love I find comfort and I find security and peace where my heart use to have un-rest. I see the missing pieces of the puzzle making their way in the right spot as I watch the Lord put it where He wants it and where He can use it to make my story complete as He who began a good work continues to...

You know me and know the depths of my heart. You would not stand beside my pain as my Healer and let the broken pieces remain- you came to bind up the broken - hearted. You asked me not to fellowship with the pain or problem but to fellowship with you. You are the creator of my heart and therefore I trusted you to put it back together again- this time with your love in the place of all earthly love.

I trust that you are capable of using everything that happens in my life for your name sake. I will accept the things handed to me and surrender my life and all my pain to you to use my story to encourage those who too have walked in valley of the shadow of death.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. This is the declaration of my heart and my promise as His child. I will overcome, I will walk through, and joy will come in the morning. I am confident that you are with me and my name is engraved in the palm of your hand. His hands formed me and know me and hold me. he is capable of handling anything I face and is bigger than any circumstance or pain...

This journey has been long over the past year and there has been many changes in my life along with losses, suffering, trials, as well as triumphs, victories, new beginnings, and revelations. The only thing that is constant that will not change or move is my Savior. No matter what season or state of my heart your love is un-wavering and you continue to remain faithful to your word and promises. I am not alone... my God is mighty and went to the grave on my behalf so I didn't have to remain there.

My life is in His hands. The best loving hands they could be in...

Your love is what I am living for right now and there is no fear in that perfect love.

I just want to say thank you.

For His glory...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"I long to experience the presence of God moving through every detail of my life, both good and bad ones, carrying me into a richer encounter with God, into a closer experience of community with others, into an experience of personal transformation that makes me more like Christ."- Dr. Larry Crabb

If there is one thing I have been encouraged by in my time in Africa is how the believers rejoice in their suffering. When I arrived their church services were always full of such life in worship and I would ask what is this song about and 9 times out of 10 they would say "thank you Jesus." I have an inside joke with one of my Swazi friends when I ask her what this song means, I usually say let me guess "thank you Jesus." They live out what it means to give thanks in all circumstances. There is so much suffering as a part of life here and they see it as a way to draw closer to the Lord. I think for some reason I had the mentality that I had a right not to suffer , especially as a believer. I mean, if Jesus really loves me why would He allow me to hurt or suffer (sorry dad you don't lie and you say you know the plans you have for us not to harm us...). Yet, the Lord calls us to know Him in our suffering and that it will produce a glory in us that far out weighs any trial we go through. It is a joy to identify with Him in our suffering because than we know we are not alone and that He is the only one who understands us and can bring comfort.

Usually our response to pain is "why Lord" or "how could this of happened to me" or "how can I get of this." Its funny how we go to God with answers to our prayers and do not ask Him what to pray for. If we are asking God the why questions during hardships and it is only bringing death and little comfort than we need to change our thinking. Many times we do not get a godly perspective because we are more concerned with our comfort and relief than God's purpose and glory. A dear sister of mine (Jacci) challenged me during my pain I am currently facing with looking at it through different heart and mindset. As disciples of Christ the question we should ask is, How can God be most glorified through my life, my response, my speech, and actions during this trial?

The truth is that everything that happens in life is first considered by God and passes through His loving and Sovereign hands. He sees the big picture and keeps His promise that "He works all things together for the good of those who love Him." As many times as I have read that, I can't get around the word "all" (all means all). He doesn't waste anything and He will use our life, our story, our pain, our trials for our good and His glory. He is incapable of evil or not being loving towards all He has made and there is comfort in knowing that He will not lead us astray or forsake us.

One of my participants (Megan- do not look down on her because she is young and you will see why) shared profound wisdom that our response in trials could be showing someone else God's greatness, grace, His love, compassion, and power. Just by persevering through any trial is a demonstration and testament of God's grace in our lives. I don't think we know how strong we are in Him until we know that He never gives us more than we can handle in Him- if it seems big than know your God is big and
strong enough to pull you through.

There are trials that seem impossible to get through, but that is when we can hold God responsible to deliver us in His time, in His purpose, and for His name sake (glory). I am learning to be adjusted by His love and to see every thing as an opportunity to draw close to Him. I would never know Him has my healer if I didn't go through a time of pain or as my deliverer (Psalm 34:19) if I wasn't in a desperate situation. I recently had a revolution that we can seek God to know WHAT IS IT JESUS GETS TO BE FOR US NOW IN CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES COULDN'T BE ANY OTHER TIME? For me, He is revealing Himself as my COMFORTER and HEALER (I said "my" because He is a personal God) and He is teaching me to trust Him and in His un-changing love regardless of my circumstances or condition of my heart that He will show me His strength in my weakness.

I will praise my God in all circumstances and my hearts cry is "not my will but yours be done." He will not waste our suffering and that is the very thing He will use to bring restoration and healing in lives of those around us. God sees the big picture and we can rejoice in knowing our God does not lie and He will fulfill all His promises for our lives. My favorite Swazi song is "Bambalayla" (means hold onto Jesus) and it rings true that He is the only thing that is constant and that we can put our complete trust in and lives in no matter what comes our way. No wonder they sing it with such passion and hope- He is all we need everyday in every situation. As my precious sister Natalie once told me "you will never know He is all you need until He is all you have"(Selah). So we can count it all loss compared to knowing Him and if every situation whether good or bad allows us to know Him more than blessed by His name.

How beautiful are the feet.

Mon, 1 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." (Rom 10:14-15) If you knew of a place that people were just waiting to hear and know about Jesus wouldn't you want to tell them, wouldn't you be willing to pay the price in order for them to hear of His love and receive the gift of eternal life? God allowed me to meet some of His children this summer who had never heard the name of Jesus. Just 10 hours from Swaziland (where everyone here knows Jesus or knows about Him) God sent a team to a small corner in Southeast Africa to share the love of Christ with them.

I remember praying as I was seeking direction and I simply asked God to send me where people were hungry. He answered that prayer in a way that was beyond my imagination. I have experienced many cultures where people know I am American and immediately begin asking me to give them something. People want money, clothes, food, job, etc. Never before though have I encountered people begging me for truth. The people in the area we were in Mozambique have never been told about Jesus. There was a Mosque and a witch doctor and that was all they knew of spirituality. When we told them of Jesus they would inquire why they had never heard the truth before, why didn't someone tell them there sins could be forgiven. These people had an insatiable hunger to know more of Him. They would come to us, sit down in the dirt, and ask to hear more of the beautiful reality of God offering redemption to a fallen world by living among us, dying for us, and defeating death. They would say "feed me" and were not talking about their stomachs.

We were blessed to see the truth of Jesus radically change even the youngest lives in Mozambique. It is amazing to see that as a child of God wherever you go you can bring life- the life of Christ in you can bring change to an entire community and bring light to the darkness. When we first arrived the children were solemn and devoid of joy. I remember looking in their eyes where the light was dim and noticing that laughter was not present. We spent our days pouring the love of Jesus into their beautiful little lives and His joyous light began to take over. Where silence had been before the sounds of children laughing and singing "Jesus loves me" (Jesu A Coranza) could now be heard. A little love can change a little life and can bring warmth and joy to their hearts. We awoke to the sound of the children's praises (they were louder than the roosters... and trust me they are loud) and heard them singing as we walked along the simple sand roads during the day. Their mothers came to us to thank us for the love we had shown their children. One mother told us her son said to her, "since the missionaries came I now know the truth that Jesus loves me and died for me." It was incredible to hear that even though we fed him, bathed him, and clothed him that the thing that made the greatest impression on him was that he heard truth.

Word spread throughout the community that there were people there who served a real and powerful God. One day a man showed up saying a relative of his had heard of us and told him we served the one true God who had the power to heal. His wife was sick and had gone to see the witch doctor and gotten worse. He realized the witch doctor had no power so he walked for miles to see us and ask us to pray for his wife. There is something powerful about not just preaching the gospel but showing the gospel... that was our prayer that we would come to them not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power...(1 Cor. 2:4b).

A woman named Isabella sold me tomatoes. I talked with her for a while telling her about Jesus and sharing truth with her. The Lord prompted me to ask her about her string necklace and she told me the witch doctor had given it to her. She had been having chest pains and night terrors for six years, which is why she began paying to see the witch doctor. She showed up to our showing of the Jesus Film and she was the first to come forward (with her necklace in her hand she had ripped off) to accept Him in front of 200 people. What she had been hoping the witch doctor would accomplish for the past 6 years Jesus did for free with one utterance of His name. Jesus brought such a change into her she had been standoffish before but after she met Jesus and received His healing she was warm and full of light and joy. She came to bring us tomatoes as a love offering to say "thank you" because since that night she had no more pain or night terrors.

I still weep thinking of the people that came to bring us their first fruits and to say thank you. I looked at the feet of my teammates that were dirty, tired, but beautiful (beautiful to Jesus as we brought the good news). God had sent them all the way from America to share His truth in the middle of nowhere. Just as the wise man brought Jesus gifts these people were bringing gifts to us- but is wasn't us- it was unto the Lord. All we did was ask the Lord where to go and He sent us to these people who were so hungry for truth but never had the opportunity to hear it.

The Lord lead us to build them a small grass hut for them to have as their own meeting place and as a testimony to the community of the fact that Jesus is working there. As we were able to share Jesus with the people there the church began to grow, now there are about 100 people who gather in the name of Jesus. They saw that Jesus is alive and that Allah didn't die for their sins and Allah doesn't love them or know their name or story. They saw that the witch doctor took their money but left them empty and their hearts in the same condition and their pain only worse off then before. They recognized the truth when they heard it because they saw His love and they experienced His love and felt His awesome power. They couldn't get enough of the truth they wanted it more than physical food and they were eager to grow and know more about His life and what He offers them. Such simple faith... they believed when they heard w/out reservation or hesitation- when you are dead and you taste life you never want to go back to that. You never want to worship a god who is distant and is in one place- you never want to live with chains on when you know someone died to take them away.

I saw what following Christ is all about... my theme this summer was that this is "no sacrifice this is our life". It is the normal Christian life and the heart of the father from Genesis to Revelation to go and make disciples and to proclaim His truth to the ends of the earth. This is why I said "here am I send me..." because I am compelled by His love to preach the good news to the poor, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.. comfort those who mourn... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes. So Lord would you send us to the lonely ones, hurting ones, angry ones, broken ones, dying ones, lost ones... their names are engraved in the palm of your hand and your love will never leave them the same.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it." (Mark 8:35) He is worth wasting my life one, spending my time on, living for and dying for. There is a price to pay and I am willing to endure hardships, spiritual warfare, sleepless nights, persecution, suffering, and eating beans and rice everyday (: for the sake of the Kingdom of God. I am comforted knowing that the Lord is with me and I am not alone and everything I need is found in Him. It is also amazing to have encouraging friends and family who encourage me to fight the good fight and don't become weary in doing good; they serve as an army behind me as I step out in faith. It is about the body of Christ working together to see the Kingdom of God come to earth and His love and truth spread to every tribe, tongue, and nation.

We serve a living God who wants to be actively present in our lives and those around us. He wants to restore, rebuild, redeem and bring life and light to all who call upon His name.

I saw this summer that His power is just as real today in a small corner of Southeast Africa (otherwise known as the Bush) as it was 2000 years ago in Jerusalem.

All about Love...

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"This is my commandment: that you love one another (just) as I have loved you. No greater love ( no one has shown stronger affection) than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. " - John 15:12, 13

As children of God, we are called to love others as Christ loves us. That means aggressively, selflessly, and sacrificially. Love is a choice and at times there is a cost to pay, but once you know the one who paid the price for you and is residing in you loving others is a natural response and overflow of the Love of Christ in you.

We can not love in accordance to how it serves us, we can not love with conditions, expectations, or requirements. When we are secure in the love of our Father we do not need the love of others or look to others to fill us- we are filled by the lover of our souls and out of His love for us we can love others. I have found the more you love God and allow Him to fill your heart the more your capacity to love is bigger.

There is no fear in love because His perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). When we fear we are casting out His perfect love and trying to love out of our own strength and through our protective walls. Fear can come in the form of dependency (thinking you need someone or their love to be secure), self-protection (having walls up or shutting people out so you won't get hurt), giving up (when things get hard don't rely on His love or trust in the power of His love), self-serving (I'll love you if..., I'll love you when... I love you as long as...) all these things will only hinder the love of God flowing in us and through us. As children of God our love must look different than the world and must come from the creator of love, the embodiment of love, the God who is love that dwells in us.

This summer I remember one night after a foot washing that the Lord asked me a question. He asked, "would you still wash their feet if you knew they were going to betray you, reject you, wrong you, or accuse you?" a harder question was "what about those who have?" With tears down my face I said "yes" Lord because no matter what you love me and my life is not my own. I recalled Jesus washing the disciples feet (John 13:2-5) knowing that Judas was going to betray him yet He did not hold back from serving him, loving him, humbling himself before Him. Why? He knew His identity, He knew He belonged to the Father and His destiny and call (Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God- John 13:3). There is a place that we come to and sometimes through hurts in life to realize that all that matters is our relationship with the Lord and no matter what everything should reflect that we are secure in His love and we live out of that place of love and are able to love others the way Christ has loved us.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matt 22:37)." There seems to be a connection here- we can not love others until we allow the love of Christ to fill us and we can not love others the way Christ calls us to unless we love ourselves because we've received from Him. If there is guilt, un-forgiveness, records of wrongs, shame, un-worthiness or anything else that would hinder the love of Jesus than we will not be a channel for His love to flow through.

This seems to hard, actually it seems impossible... where do we go, where do we turn, what do we cling to, where can we find the definition of love: THE CROSS! When we know the power of the cross and the love that hung there for our sake we can not help but freely love. We have heard many scriptures speaking of love such as: freely we have received so freely give, those who have been forgiven much love much, love covers a multitude of sins, forgive as I have forgiven you, love one another, a friend loves at all times (the list goes on). When we know the truth it will set us free to love- when we believe the truth the fruit will be love- we can't just know about the cross we must let it get us and receive the love that Jesus died for. We must look at everyone and every situation through the cross and that is where love will win over everything. We can look at one another and say "you don't owe me anything" , you can give others what they don't deserve (which is forgiveness), you can see them through the cross of redemption and as Christ sees them (w/out blemish) you can love everyone and anyone (not just those who love us back, but even our enemies, even those who have hurt us, even those who have failed us, disappointed us...). When we look at others through the cross any wrong done is not remembered only grace and the love that says "paid for." That is the Amazing love that brought Jesus to the cross, that allowed Him to suffer and hang there, and that is the power that allowed Him to rise again.

My passion is to see people free... free from bondage, pain, sin, whatever would keep us from His love or hinder His love. The world is dying, hurting, broken, and in need of love... a love that is from a God who created this broken world, stepped down and redeemed it by hanging on the cross and taking our sin & shame. When we realize this truth and let the King of Glory step into our hearts- He is the one who will enable us to live a life of love. God has removed our heart of stone and given us a new heart of flesh that beats with the love of God. God is love: if we do not love than we are not showing people who Jesus is and why He died- we are neglecting the truth, the cross, the reason we were called, chosen, and redeemed.

Let us love...

Writing Truth on my arm...

Wed, 6 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Life is made up of seasons...this season my life has been a call to share in the sufferings of Christ. I remember the Lord asking me if I would drink of His cup of suffering if it meant that I would draw closer to Him and glorify Him- I said "yes my Lord." It is humbling to know that there is nothing I will go through that Christ did not go through Himself. I feel Him pulling me close to Him and whispering "it's o.k. daddy is here and I know it hurts but we will get through it together." I count it all a joy in order to draw closer to my creator.

God has called me by a new name: ACCEPTED. I write it on my arm to remind me not only of who I am in Christ but whose I am. I have cast myself entirely upon Jesus and His word and that has carried me through this winter season. Jesus never said it would be easy but He promises we will never have to walk through it alone.

Never in my life have I lived so secure in my identity in the Lord- as His accepted one, even in the darkest time of rejection and loss I've never felt His presence so close and the joy of the Lord be my strength. God has allowed me to be stripped of everything in order to know He is enough. His love is stronger and bigger than any pain I have faced. At times I don't understand why I have peace, joy, and comfort in times of suffering but He has my heart and it is in the best hands it could be in.

In a season of sharing in Christ's sufferings there comes beauty for ashes.

I can praise God for my sufferings because he is using them to bring comfort and restoration to others as He has promised "the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God (2 Cor 1:3-4)." Again... all my pain, all my joy, all my trials, all my sufferings are worth it all. I remember one of my participants this summer telling me that my testimony was used to help bring healing to her life and free her from un-forgiveness. I remember thanking God that night with tears down my face thinking that it is worth the pain in order to see healing in the lives of His children and for Him to get the glory- that night God gave me beauty for ashes.

Nothing compares to knowing Christ my Lord...it is part of my inheritance to know Him in power of His resurrection and in my sufferings- either way it brings me closer to Him. I am strong enough in Him to stand in His love because His love never fails or changes. Nothing I do or have done will change His love or affections. I fear nothing with the Lord, I hold nothing back. He is worth all my time and affections.

I write acceptance on my arm and heart because I am defined by the love and acceptance of the creator and sustainer of the universe. I run to the arms of the Almighty God because nothing in this world can shake me out of His hands. He is the God holding the universe in His palm and holding me. My father has big strong hands and I feel secure in His love. He promises to never reject me because of His name and He was pleased to make me His own (Is 12:22).

As my team would tell you I pose the question randomly "who are you?" Who does He say that you are? My name is accepted one and it is written on my arm and heart.

Mourning

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"When you hear the word mourning what comes to mind?" Maybe you get a picture of a widow standing at her husband's grave, maybe you see an old man sitting at a table alone in the house his late wife decorated, or maybe you see a couple standing at the door of a new nursery that is devoid of a child. These are the same pictures that use to come to my mind when I heard the word mourning. After meeting Juliet, my idea of how I viewed mourning someone's death has completely changed. I use to think that mourning was the grief you experienced from the time the person died till you buried them. I use to think that it was just an emotion and not an action that affect a lifestyle. After watching my dear friend Juliet mourn the death of her husband I can see that it is more than just an emotion it is a lifestyle.

Juliet lost her husband to AIDS four months ago, leaving her a widow with five children and a grandchild. For the first three months she had to stay in her house and did not come out because there were complications in the burial process. After he was buried she was unable to leave her homestead for another two months to continue the grieving process. Even still, she will wear black everyday and continue to mourn for another three years. This is part of the Swazi culture here and what "mourning" looks like in their lives.

The idea of mourning or grieving the death of someone as being a lifestyle never enters the mind of a normal American/Westerner. It is not that grieving the death of someone you love for three years is morbid, it is actually honoring their life and remembering who they are to you. By Juliet wearing black for the next three years she is making a statement that she has lost someone who is dear to her and her heart is broken because of what that person meant to her.

Unlike losing someone here on earth and grieving their death because we won't have them in this life anymore, we have a God who physically is not present but the word says His spirit dwells within us. We don't have to live as though we lost Him forever. So often times we as Christians focus on the death of Jesus and how awful it was rather than focusing on what He means to us and how He has affected our lives. I wonder when non- believers look at the way we are living- if they see us wearing black as if He has not risen. We don't have to mourn His death or live as if He is not around anymore. We believers we should celebrate His life- "the resurrected life" that dwells within us.

Get your praise on...

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 00:00:00 GMT

How can we get into the presence of the Lord and not be moved by Him. How can we be called to enter His courts with praise but have no praise on our lips or hearts? If there is one thing that I love about Swaziland it is their passion to worship the Lord. If you knew their stories, if you saw their heartache, if you witnessed their struggles, their hardships, their losses, their poverty you would wonder why they come into His presence with a mighty sound of praise. I believe they are offering a sacrifice of praise- one that is deserved by a Holy God who says "these light and momentary trouble are achieving for us a glory that outshines them all" a God who says "do not lose heart, for I have overcome" I loving God who promises "to cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you" and a God who blesses our obedience to Him by giving of Himself and His character (one being joy) "the joy of the Lord is our strength."

So, let me just say that if you ever heard of the movie "White man can't jump" well if they made another one about me it would be called "white girl can't dance." This past Sunday I had a burning in my spirit to get up and dance and praise the Lord with my brothers and sisters. I didn't care about my rhythm (or lack there of) or two left feet all that mattered was that I wanted to rejoice in the presence of my God.

I love the fact that it doesn't matter what color you are, what your ethnic background is, if you are poor or wealthy, if you are young or old or if you believe in baptism by sprinkling or submersion- God says that He inhabitants the praises of His children. I always joke with my African friends saying that we need to get use to worshipping God together on earth because there won't be a separate heaven for Africans and Americans (: I love to worship with them because it is a glimpse of heaven.

This past Sunday I encouraged the body that one of the greatest weapons of warfare is praise. If you are tired and weary when you begin to offer up praise that joy becomes your strength- your spirit grows strong and you don't recognize your flesh is weak as the word says "my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak." The amplified bible says "be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold." If we allow anything in our lives to keep us from praising the Lord and we allow ourselves to be distracted by those things than they become a stronghold and appear bigger than God. The Lord is our stronghold so we should be able to praise no matter what because we know whose we are and that we are on the winning side.

A few weeks ago I was watching a thunder storm outside and I was amazed at how the thunder does exactly what it is suppose to do. Everything in creation does what it is designed to do, do we? We were created to give glory to God yet so many times we do everything but that. The Lord died for us- we are the creation He gave His life for and we should be crying out much more than any rock or thunder storm.

There is a new song in my heart- it is singing to an audience of one (His name is Jesus). Worship is my response to what God has done- He has changed my life - He has given me new life in Him. Every chance I get I worship with my Swazi friends. We celebrate Jesus together- we honor Him- we recognize Him as the King of Swaziland- of our lives and hearts.

African Flames

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:00:00 GMT

The other day I was just walking up the hill to my house when I noticed some flames in the field beside us. In Africa, vandalism looks like setting dry grass on fire and running away. My friend and I wondered if we should go try to put it out but the locals here said it would be o.k. Within 10 minutes the fire had moved closer and the flames were higher than before. The fire was moving towards our mission base so we shouted to our friends to grab a tree branch and come (only because I saw it on an African movie once). I know God must have been humored by my slip on shoes, synthetic pants, and polyester shirt which screamed flammable. Amateur fire fighters we all began to hit the flames with our branches to put out the flames. Little did we know that the flames were overtaking us We heard a scream from the distance saying "get out, get out" Just as fast as we ran to the fire we had to run from it. We had to wait till the wind died down enough to go back in We again assembled together to beat the flames with our branches when "Momma Lizzie" a local South African came with a wet rug and put out 10 flames in one sweeping movement of her hand- show off! Again, the wind picked up and the flames were higher than us, in that moment I cried out to God and shouted for everyone to pray. It's funny how the moment I felt helpless is when I turned to God instead of just asking Him for help before I did all my "good works." God moved the direction of the wind, we were able to get back to safety and the fire truck came (pause for description: a tractor with a big tank on the back with a rubber tube for a hose) to put the rest out. I heard Dini, owner of the property, say "let's gather together to thank Jesus." As we came in the circle the numbers grew from 5 to 10 to 15 to 20 people, many unfamiliar faces of the community. They saw the fire, dropped everything they were doing, to bring a bucket of water and come running to help. God is faithful and I write this blog from my house, which is literally 5 feet away from the last flame that went out (close call). What a mighty God we serve !!

God is light...

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:00:00 GMT

God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. This has been my verse that I cling to in the midst of what "appears" a dark place. I asked my team the other night to describe how God has revealed Himself to them thus far. I immediately thought, "God is light" and I realized my perspective on life in Africa has changed. I think when I came before I noticed darkness and I let that discourage me at times. Now I am coming knowing that God is light and darkness must flee where His light is present.

I will give you an example: we had a time of asking the Lord where He wanted us to minister and confirmation came to go to Manzini. We piled in our van and prayerfully went to Manzini not knowing what God had in store. Our team was lead to the market place where we met a lady who was suffering from a toothache. She asked, "why are you here?" We told her that the Lord brought us there to pray and share God's love with the people. I can't really put into words what happened but in a matter of a few minutes there were over 30 people gathered around us to hear about Jesus. It is as if sitting in the midst of darkness when they saw His light they wanted to come. The Spirit of God fell in on that street corner and we began to sing, testify, and pray. People were getting healed in front of our eyes and I know it is because darkness must flee where the Light of Christ is. It is amazing to know that He is the light of the world and He dwells within us so wherever we go we are bringing His light. Glory Be to God!!!

Abiding

Wed, 9 May 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I am beginning to see

that ministry can not exist apart from intimacy with Christ. You see ministry should happen out of the outpouring of our relationship with Christ. John 15:8 says, "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." Many people mistake the "abiding" chapter as a call to "bear much fruit" and don't realize the call is to "abide." The result of abiding in Christ is bearing fruit; apart from the vine (Christ) I can do nothing. If I attempt to operate independent of Him I can bear no fruit. If my life consists of abiding in Him than ministry will follow and flow out my abiding.

It isn't about doing extraordinary things for the Lord; it is about me being ordinary but Jesus being extraordinary. It is about being intimate with the Father and out of that intimacy ministry happens because I can offer nothing of value or lasting significance except Him. My ministry, my dreams, my future should be wrapped up in just knowing Him and making Him known to the nations. Ministry is simple: love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. How can I love others if I am not loving God or allowing Him to love me- that is the gospel you can't have one without the other unless you want to be a clanging symbol.

I am falling in love with my Savior and because of that I am able to love my neighbor as myself: my neighbor is in the continent of South Africa where is yours?

Ministry Insight

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I love the fact that Jesus was so unpredictable, but He did nothing except what the Father was doing. I have found in Africa that ministry can not come as an organized package with instructions. Some days you are going to the hospital to "pray for the sick" but then you see a women outside crying and the Father says go to her you find out that her 20 year old daughter just died of AIDS and she is left with her 3 children. What if you just past her by to do "your ministry?"

Ministry here doesn't look the same and it doesn't start and end on your terms. Yesterday morning we got up to take a run (more like fast walk) and found a women picking up corn kernels on the ground. She had been there for 2 hrs. already picking up these kernels in the dirt that were scattered for miles. Her children brought them home in a wheelbarrow and didn't realize the bucket had spilt. We stopped to help, because those small pieces of corn (to be honest in America most of us would just leave them in the dirt) fed her chicken that would feed her family for that month. We were able to put "our agenda" to the side and do a small thing to stop and say "you matter and Jesus loves you."

I am beginning to see that it is in the little things that the Kingdom of God is being built. I think it is easy to get caught up in the big things, but the word of God says the kingdom of God is like a small mustard seed. If we don't stop to help plant that small seed we will never see it grow into something big His kingdom.

Lord, I want to do what the Father is doing. May my heart be in tune to hear your voice and respond with a willing spirit. If I find you picking up kernels in the dirt than I will meet you there.

Prayer Pains...

Sun, 1 Apr 2007 00:00:00 GMT

I am learning the meaning of intercession. Intercession is praying from a place of "we" and not "them." I think it is literally putting your place in the person's shoes and praying from a place of feeling what they feel. I don't think casual prayers connect us to the heart of the Father and allow us to pray from a place of identifying with the pain.

Since I've been in Africa I have prayed to be able to intercede for the children here. Today, God allowed my heart to break to the point where I could stand in the gap and pray as if I was one of the children. Goo Goo is the teacher of a squatter camp in the slums of Africa . She originally found the children having sex underneath blue tarps tied up with string; these are 5-10 year olds. She said she told them if they would stop she would teach them, she has been there 3 years and not only have they stopped but they are learning about the love of Jesus.

One of the girls mentioned that her father is beating her and raping her, but then proceeded to play ball. It has become just a way of life, there is no shame or dealing with the pain. Then, one of the girls said "don't take a picture of me" b/c the demons are telling me you will pray for me. Both her parents have died of AIDS and now she lives with a witch doctor. These are typical heart-breaking stories that we hear daily in the lives of the children of Africa .

When I first arrived I would typically pray "Lord bless them, heal them, protect them", but when I was praying for "them" I lost the right to intercede. God is calling us to pray from a place of identifying with others pain, a place where the Father's heart is revealed. I once heard someone say that we use prayer like a "spiritual epidural" where we don't want to feel the pain of others. Today I was able to pray from a position of brokenness and hopelessness as a child here. I felt the hurt, the pain, the desperation, but I also felt the love of the Father for them. Lord, teach me to pray for those you have called me to live among.

Face of God

Thu, 1 Mar 2007 00:00:00 GMT

Today I remember my vision and heart for people to see God and not me. My friends and I went into a hospital to pray for those who were sick. Before we entered we prayed together and my prayer was, Lord, let them see you today and know you love them.

I began to pray for a lady in the first bed and when I opened my eyes another women had left her bed to come sit beside me. She said, I have been waiting for you, would you pray for me? As we were leaving a lady grabbed my arm and said, "I know the reality is that you are girls praying, but I don't see you I see Jesus." She said that her heart was healed and that was the biggest pain she had.

Isn't God amazing! It hasn't been too long since I stepped onto the soil God called me to and already I am seeing Him fulfill the promises He has given me. He is in the business of love and it is simple: to love the one in front of you. Today I was able to love the one and know that people are waiting for God to touch them.

Lord, let me be your hands and feet today, this is my daily prayer

Go and Make Disciples...

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

The truth is that for many years I walked in bondage not realizing that "it was finished" at the cross and Jesus set me free when he took my sin. It was a matter of believing and saying, "thank you Jesus for forgiving me"..by His stripes I have been healed. I can walk in freedom- not freedom to sin but free from the power of sin in my life. Sometimes, discipleship looks like going to the grave with someone, burying those sins, guilt, shame and saying no more- you are forgiven- now walk in freedom- whom the son sets free is free indeed. Darkness can no associate with light; once we come into the light and confess, darkness must flee.. where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.
When I was in India many children said "yes I will die for you Lord." I heard God say, Marissa if you are willing to die for me then you need to be willing to live for me. Jesus isn't just important in my life- He is my life. I joke around saying "die to self" but really isn't that what being a Christ-follower is all about. He has bid us to come and die so we might live.
I know that we are called to "go and make disciples" ; my passion was stirred this summer for discipleship and I know that is what I am called to. My last trip to India consisted of college age girls, who, for many of them said it was the first time they were "discipled." Many of them had carried past sins with them and for the first time were set free from the guilt and condemnation that came with them. I saw them begin to see who they were in Christ and believe truth instead of lies. My passion is for the church (here) to embrace accountability and discipleship; for His children to walk in freedom so they can live the abundant life they are called to. How can we go and preach the good news when we haven't believed the good news for ourselves. He is calling us to a life of freedom so that we may go and set the prisoners free. The youth of today are waiting to see someone live out the abundant life- walk in freedom- to say Jesus is the answer and you don't have to do it alone. It is simple, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. Who are your neighbors?
Jesus is the answer to the biblical model of discipleship. Jesus took the disciples in, he ate with them, lodged with them, walked with them, taught them, ministered with them, loved them, encouraged them, and discipled them.  I want my life and my home to be an "open-door policy" ready to serve, to love, to pour out into the lives of others.   Jesus is calling His children to intimacy with Him; I am answering that call as I walk with Him and fulfill the great commission.
                                              Now is the time to make disciples of all nations...

Fingerprints of God

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 00:00:00 GMT

As I stepped onto the dirt soil in India; I heard the praises of 240 orphans from the sanctuary singing " This world is not my home." These are the children who give thanks for rice 3 x a day; who tell you that water is a blessing from God, who sleep 4 to a bed, who take their shoes off their feet and put them on yours. Who wants to live the American dream after ministering alongside of these precious ones?!

These children welcome suffering as an opportunity to grow closer the Lord. Many of them have lost their loved ones to diseases, grew up as beggars on the street, or came from idol worship at home. When they speak of their past they thank God for where He has brought them and where He is taking them. I remember Neja (10 year old girl) saying, " I do not cry about my parents dying, because God is my heavenly father and He loves me and takes care of me."

Watching the children pray and sing to the Lord you realize that God is more than enough. Children like Brij (13 year old boy) has already committed to sharing the gospel to his Hindu village and is willing to die for Christ. "Are you scared?" I asked. He responded, "of course not, the Lord goes with me, and besides this world is not my home"

This summer our team was able to pour into the children at the orphanage, to disciple them, love them, be with them . Jesus has come to be the Father to the Fatherless and we were there to join God in loving them. Pastor Babu (leader of the orphanage) had to go into hiding 2 days before we got there. He told our team that he cried out to God wondering who would care for the children and how they would get food and water. We were an answer to prayer and a testimony of God's faithfulness. We were able to provide a cup of cold water in His name that cold water sometimes looked like: twirling Jugini beneath the tree, sharing God's word on the dirt mounds, putting powder on Sonya's heat rash (she smiled so big afterwards), wiping Gudia's tears when she fell down, or praying for healing for those with fever...These are the fingerprints of God among "the orphans" (God's children) in India.